Don’t make these wedding vow mistakes

Don’t make these wedding vow mistakes

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to truly personalise your ceremony, so if you’ve decided you want to write your own wedding vows, make sure you don’t make the following mistakes.

Don’t share too much

You’ll need to use your best judgement here, but there are some things that fall into the category of ‘TMI’. Too much information includes topics like intimate details of your relationship, arguments you’ve had or anything else that could cause embarrassment or upset to family or friends. Don’t spend too long on personal stories either. Tell them concisely and them move along. Inside jokes are also a no-no. Yes, you want your vows to be personal but not at the expense of your guests. Make sure your words suit your venue too.


Writing your own vows is becoming increasingly popular for modern couples. However, if you’re not naturally gifted with words, you could end up creating a bit of a shambles. This is an important public moment when all eyes will be on you, so if you’re not confident about your abilities, it might be better to play it safe with traditional vows and save your personal thoughts for the speeches. Many people can feel intimidated by such a responsibility. Unless you feel totally at ease in publicly announcing your innermost feelings, you might want to avoid it altogether.


For such an important moment, it’s easy to get carried away in trying to make your words sound special and unique. Trying too hard can leave your vows feeling a bit overcooked, too contrived or just plain awkward. It’s a good idea to get a second opinion or two once you’ve finished writing what you think are the best vows.

Don’t make them blush

Remember to stay appropriate. Everyone wants to keep the magic alive in the bedroom but there will friends and family of all ages present, so don’t overstep the mark and cause anyone to feel comfortable, especially your partner.

Wrong length

Even if you’re keeping your vows secret from each other until the big day, it’s good to have some shared guidelines, particularly in terms of length. If one person speaks for 10 minutes, while the other barely manages 2, it can look very awkward. It’s a good idea to keep vows concise. Remember that guests will normally tune out after a couple of minutes anyway.

Putting it off

The night before is no time to be writing your vows. Don’t procrastinate, otherwise you’ll feel rushed and unhappy with what you’ve produced. A good idea is to have them prepared a month before the ceremony, giving you time to revisit and amend if necessary. Make sure you practice saying the words so that they feel comfortable.


Marlon Walker

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