Wedding etiquette: the 6 rules for a fairytale ceremony
Therefore, it is not only very important that the location is able to offer you all the services you need. It is also essential that the spouses, parents, witnesses, and guests know how to behave on an occasion of this depth. In other words, what are the bon ton rules to be respected for this event? The professionalism of the competent staff, combined with the elegant conduct of all those present, is often the only perfect equation, the one that transforms a mediocre ceremony into a fairytale wedding.
In the next few lines, therefore, we will better analyze some aspects of wedding etiquette, with the intention of at least giving you a base from which to start to be sure that yours is really the one worthy of a queen.
01. The invitation. The etiquette of equity investments
And let’s start with what – in the eyes of the guests – will be the first act of marriage, or rather the reception of the invitation. Let’s start from a premise: according to the etiquette of wedding invitations, participations are anything but secondary. First of all, the guests need to understand important things such as place, time, information on the dress, and perhaps the type of gift. But above all, they are the real visiting card of the couple. A postcard that is too tacky or sparse will generate in the mind of the reader impressions of lack or excess of attention to detail even before the ceremony.
The color of the card must not be too light or too dark so as not to cause discomfort to the reader’s eye, and the size must not exceed 17 cm in length and 13 cm in height. The names of the parents of the bride (left) and of the groom (right) should be reported respectively at the top left and right, while the date of the event and the place of the ceremony will appear in the center. Better to avoid entering the precise address, it is inelegant.
Just above the date and place of the wedding, the actual invitation must be inserted in the frankest and simple way possible, without linguistic snobberies that nobody likes. The inclusion of any titles before the names of the spouses is also a marker of little elegance. Even worse if these titles are not even academic.
At the bottom of the postcard, in a central position, there will be the new address at which the bride and groom will be available after the wedding, while even further down will go, once again respectively to the right and left, those in which they receive before the happy event.
02. Wedding gift etiquette: what rules should be followed for the present for the newlyweds?
Let’s start from the organizers ‘ perspective. It is very inelegant to mention the wedding list directly on the invitation card. If you really can’t do without it, add a second card, less sophisticated and more schematic, in which you provide all the necessary information. But this has to be a really extreme solution. The wedding list should be requested by the guests, perhaps by telephone.
In fact, it will be the guest himself, at the time of the call for greetings, to ask for information (in the most discreet way possible) on the type of gift. Assuming that if there is a wedding list it would be wise to follow it, no one prevents the guest from making a different gift, especially if he will not be able to personally participate in the happy event.
03. The groom’s suit
And you, husband, did you really think that your beauty would be the only one who had to find the perfect match for her dress? Not at all!
According to the etiquette of the groom’s suit, in fact, the future husband has two options available: a groom suit in a classic two or three-piece suit, or a morning suit. The allowed colors are black, blue and pinstripe. But the latter is more suitable for summer weddings. Under the classic suit, whose jacket must never be double-breasted, it is allowed to wear a waistcoat. The witnesses, in agreement with the groom, would do well to wear a dress similar to hers: similar, not identical.
04. Wedding etiquette: witnesses
What do you need to organize a wedding ? Someone would not hesitate to answer: anything but two good witnesses. The choice of witnesses is in fact a fundamental choice, and the first thing to do is not to rely on the economic conditions or social prestige of the “chosen ones”, but on relationships of true and lasting friendship.
The witnesses, both of the bride and the groom, have the task of assisting the two protagonists of the ceremony during all the preparation phases, up to the very morning of the event. Specifically, those of the groom (or one of the two) organize the bachelor party, take care of the offer in church to the priest, propose the first toast and keep the faiths until the fateful day.
The bride’s witnesses organize the bachelorette party and provide advice and suggestions on the dress and the best hairstyles for the bride , flower arrangements and any other arrangements. The first witness and the first witness of the groom and of the bride help them with the dressing on the wedding day.
All the witnesses then have the important task of being the real hosts of the day where the parents of the lovers are temporarily busy. Therefore welcoming the guests, chatting with them when the spouses are absent, managing the arrangement of the session at mass.
05. The ceremony in the church
The rules for the etiquette of marriage in church obviously concern only those who decide to celebrate the Catholic ceremony, not for this reason they are less important than the others.
With the exception of the aspects related to the decorations for the wedding in the church and the music to play, absolutely customizable but preferably not too eccentric. For this particular point, the thing to pay more attention to is the entrance procedure.
The groom must arrive before the bride (preferably 20 minutes), and he has two ways of doing this. The first is to arrive with the closest friends and wait for the guests outside the church; in this way, he will also be able to acquit – with the help of witnesses – all the pleasantries of the case. This wait will last until the arrival of his mother. If, on the other hand, husband and mother arrive together, they will have to go directly to the altar. The bridegroom will offer his left arm to the mother. And when you reach the altar she will sit in the first pew on the right.
It is right for the bride to wait, but not too long. Etiquette dictates that she arrives 20-30 minutes after her future husband enters and that she walks down the aisle accompanied by her father or a replacement for her. This figure also has the task of helping the bride to get out of the vehicle. If necessary, dismiss her with a kiss on the hand and/or lift her veil before entrusting her to the care of her future husband.
6. Church wedding etiquette: what to keep in mind
The moment of the bride’s entrance is one of the highest of the entire ceremony. It is precisely here that most of the gestures to be observed with precision are concentrated. We summarize them briefly:
- If the bride has a veil over her face, it must be kept lowered until she reaches the altar;
- After raising the veil, the bride also removes her gloves (if any);
- Even with the veil lowered, the gaze must be high and determined. So as not to give the impression of sadness or repentance;
- During the entrance, two pageboys precede the bride and the father. Carrying the pillow with the wedding rings;
- Two bridesmaids close the queue; they are entrusted with the task of arranging the train of the bride;
- The bouquet must be held with the left hand and placed at the entrance to the church. It will be recovered at the end of the ceremony;
A small variant can be the following. The groom takes it upon himself to bring the bouquet to the church and awaits the arrival of his beauty in the churchyard. Here he greets her, gives her the bridal bouquet, takes his leave momentarily. And walks down the aisle with her mother. A few minutes later, the bride enters with her father.